She's home

Grandma went home yesterday, and all is well now.

My aunt called her bothers to come on Sunday so I drove my parents to see her. We were there all afternoon but she was hanging on and we drove home later that night. then yesterday morning abby wasn't feeling well, so i told her to go back to sleep and i called to keep her home from school and told my boss i would work from home.

my mom called about 10 to say my aunt called my dad back and said grandma was really bad. she'd gotten sick and her breathing was very gurgly. so i drove dad back down but we got a call when we were about a half hour away that grandma had passed. she waited until the family left her alone to go get lunch. and on the one hand, i'm sad that she was alone, but on the other hand, i suspect that was what my very independent grandmother wanted.

my cousin mary said to her before they left, "grandma, we're going to get some lunch now and we'll be back. you don't have to wait for us if you don't want to." I love that they gave her a choice and she took it. her husband died 42 years ago so she has done things her own way for a very long time.

i asked my aunt to not let the funeral home take grandma until after we got there. abby was with us and i was very careful not to pressure her to go into the room but to choose and abby did fine. i reminded her as we entered the room that our bodies are just clay pots for our souls and grandma's soul was with Jesus and her family now and that what she was going to see was the empty pot. it was good and she is at peace now.

since this is the Poison Apple, i do need to rant just a little about my dad's sister-in-law, my aunt Barb. as we entered the nursing home, my relatives were speaking to the funeral director in the hall. they had not gone into the room where grandma was yet since returning from lunch. after they confirmed some details, my aunt started asking graphic questions about embalming. i am really sure that if this were her mother she would not be asking such things! i loudly said i did not want to hear that (AND especially didn't want Abby to hear that!) and so that's when we entered the room first.

later, back at my aunt's house, with Abby present, Barb started retelling the details she'd learned again! i took abby to the park then, but i'm really just appalled at her complete lack of tact.

so, just looking now toward the final goodbye this weekend. i'm making some hotel arrangements for family members since there will be many many people coming from far away. i'm also helping to gather music and will do whatever else comes up. it's the final gift i can give.