Yesterday's Realization

so 2 weeks into my renewed fitness activity, i was telling kevin yesterday morning how good i was feeling about the yoga and cardio i'd done and he became whiney, needy jerk. he started in about how unfair it was that i had gotten mad at him and tried to kick him out of our house when abby was around 2 for golfing all the time. i calmly explained that golfing for 4 hours a day 5-7 days a week every week since abby was born was not the same thing. and he whined that he felt neglected and that "we" never spent time together and all he does is work.
i was strangely collected (must be the yoga) and didn't rip him apart and said very little. i gently reminded him that although he may put in a lot of office hours, when i'm not at the office i am Mom and that is a demanding, draining job although less now than when abby was an infant and he was completely absent. And further, having dinner together, going to church together, that was my life. if he wanted something else, he'd need to explain what that was.

the realizations that occurred to me while i was being quiet and refusing to engage in the fight were that:
1. after Ron moved in I began the last fitness campaign and kevin became a needy jerk then too.
2. there is no point in fighting to enlighten a stone or a stick. best to just let them sit there.

so i did that. (again, yoga?) and the moment passed and kevin attempted an apology later. but, the wickedqueen did show herself to ask why and of course he was unable to articulate a reason and so is still a stone. or a stick. i like the stick analogy because a stick can be useful although when it's stuck in mud still aggravating. And that is my marriage.

39 days until Hawaii.