random thoughts

monk rehab = 140 day recovery program from life

requires that you give away all of your possessions and completely strip your life away.
release from monk rehab is a bit like birth. you go back into the world with nothing, except the personal connections you choose to keep.

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anyway. so I've spent the last 4 months grieving the death of my friend from the world where I live, and trying to celebrate the fact that I get to remain connected to him in heaven. but, lest you think I was not a good friend for writing so seldom, I wasn't quite ready to be a good friend and keep that connection wide open for fear that every letter would be needy, grief filled, clingy crap.

so, now the news that monk heaven has really been a monk rehab leaves me a bit off kilter. oh, I'm happy (truly!) at his return to the world I inhabit, even if in my eyes the return takes him to one of the places I least enjoy visiting - yet am required to do so rather regularly. it's all a very interesting turn of events. and I find that just when I thought we were writing the final chapter, there's a whole sequel here to unfold.

and I'm left feeling like i didn't really grieve this thing, just delayed it only to find it unnecessary. and it's a bit odd now to look around my house and see the things that I thought I was procrastinating in their donation to now wonder how I'll get them delivered to the new home, wherever that may be.

everything just looks different today.